Sunday, June 27, 2010


Lol, so this is kind of an update.

I went to visit Georgia State University. I absolutely loved it. I know I will get into that school. Maybe by 2015 I can move back up to New York, but right now, NY is just way too expensive for me. Period.

I finally made a youtube account that I will actually use. I was going to wait until I got my netbook and set it up from there. But I really could not wait. So far I've found this awesome girl who vlogs and her name is... Andrea. And here is her youtube channel. Click! So I really can't wait until I'm able to blog and ish. :)

My whole month of July is filled with either movie dates or hang out dates (not like that you guys, I'm still with Paul. =). It's like someone different every weekend or everytime I'm off. Isn't that awesome? Lol, it'll be even more awesome if I had my license. Anyways... I'm really ready for July 30th. So hopefully it'll go by fast.

Instead of getting a perm before school starts, I'm just going to get a coontail. :) I just have to blow dry my hair really good, and press it really good for it to be straight. But coontails are different. It's all thanks to Berry. :)

So that's all for now! :)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Amazing Weekend.

Man I got to see all my people! Almost anyway, lol.

I went over my friend Kari's house and we ended up having a marker fight with each other. At first we were writing random stuff on her mirror and then she attacked me! Lol, when I left, it looked as if someone used me as a white board to teach a class! Lol, we caught up on a lot, and we were on facebook the whole time. XD

Then my foreva bestie Jennifer and her brother came and picked me up and I went over to her house. We walked over to some secret places [insider] and we made a video! Which I can't put on the internet because obviously it's her secret place! Lol. We took pictures, and ate biscuits. Lol. We talked about old times and talked about her son she's going to have in August, Traevon. I'll be a God Mother and I'm so excited! I'm happy for her. :)

From Jennifer's house I walked to my boyfriend's house. His name's Paul. :) As always I had a great time with him. We drank, again... Lol. We hung out with some friends and talked a lot. I even got in cool with his family. His Mother and Father are so cool. I love his brother Benny. He is hilarious! *its a harrier!* xD [Insider.] That night my sister Ruth came to check on me because she doing you know, the big sister thing. She been knew Paul and everything she just wanted to make sure I was doing right. xD I missed her so much and since she came to see me so late, we couldn't take a picture because it was dark outside. I got to see Skull, Tj, and Candy [=/] again. We did a lot of catching up and there were a lot of laughs. Lmao. *you'd make a sexy girl* xD [Insider.]

After Ruth and her crew left we just sat outside at the picnic table by the lake. We just talked and we really got to know each other more and how much we've changed since the year we've been apart. That night me and Paul didn't fall asleep until 4 that morning. We were in his lodge at first but at 6 we went up to the house to sleep in his brother's room because it had a bigger bed. When we finally woke up at 12 he made me breakfast. He cooked blueberry pancakes and an omelet. Now, I hate eggs, but Paul's omelet was sooo effin good! :)

That morning we hung out with his family more. I got to see a lot of pictures of him and his family when he was younger. It was hilarious. :) Then he took me on his golf cart around his property and throughout his woods. (His family owns a huge piece of land.) It was really all beautiful. He picked me two tulips, and one was yellow! =D He showed me where he has his bonfires and we fed the fishies. Lol. We even walked on this tree that had fallen into the lake. The tree was soo big, I was scared I was gonna fall off. But it was fun. :)

Then he had to take me back to Kari's house, so my Nana could pick me up. :( I may not be able to go out for the rest of the summer, so I'm not sure the next time I'll get to see him, or anyone lse for that matter. :( Paul knows this and we decided to make it work. :) That's why Paul is so amazing, he just understands. :) Anyways! When I was back at Kari's we talked to her friend through Skype and we were back on facebook talking about people. xD

Now I'm back home. Sigh. It's Father's Day and I gave my Grandaddy his present before I left Saturday. He went to Tennessee to visit his Dad. :) Now I'm watching Happy Lesson (anime). To sum it all up, I had an amazing weekend. :) I hope everyone else's was good too! ♥

Thursday, June 17, 2010


It seems like I can't make up my mind about anything anymore.

Like whether or not I like both boys or girls, or just girls. Just recently I've found out I apparently like both. I guess I just want to be loved in general. But I can be very picky. I'm not easily satisfied, and I get bored quickly. I'm just a bitch like that apparently.

And where I want to go for college. You guys know I was set on New York University for the past three years. But I've had a reality check this summer. I realized that I won't be there right after I graduate. I just won't. And the way I accepted it was surprising too. It's like I didn't mind, and I still don't. For at least my first two years of college, I'll be at Georgia State or University of Georgia. I'm praying for Georgia State though. We're going to go visit there next Thursday.

Sometimes I just feel like a hypocrite.

Or maybe I'm just really indecisive and I open my mouth before thinking it all through.

If this is how life is going to be all the time. I think I can wait little bit longer, so I can figure out myself.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I Fucked Up

Or I was fucked up. Either way, there is some kind of fucking up in there.

So yesterday I went over Paul's house around 2:30pm. I didn't get home until like past 12am the next day. I'm surprised I didn't get in a lot of trouble. She probably won't let me go out anywhere really...

Anyway we went swimming in his lake, went on a boat around his lake, drank a whole lot, and he threw a party for some DSA kids. Man we were all fucked up.

But, I really loved being with Paul. He was my boy bestie before I changed schools, and being with him again brought back some really old memories and last night I made some new ones.

I met a lot of his friends, and two friends that he always talked about and I finally got to meet them; Conor and Chris. They're awesome. I wanna go back next weekend.

I lost $10 and a ring while I was over there. Paul's bad luck for me. Lmao. I have pictures but... I'm on my Mother's laptop and I can't save pictures on here. Shit. You guys will see them when I get my own netbook and I put whatever the hell I want on there.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


What happened to my inspiration?

sumemr camp has gotten better. I'm just getting used to my job. I think I hated it so much because my Ky wasn't there. :( I just miss her.

Time changes shit.

My sister pissed me the fuck off today. I am sad to find out even my own blood can be a fucking retard. Sigh. Smh.

Well we're going to Centenial park today in downtown Atlanta. That should be fun.

And tomorrow night I'ma go to the movies with some friends. Talk about stress reliever.

Since I won't be going to NYU right away, I've been looking at Georgia Southern (which I love so far) and UGA, which I heard has an amazing journalism program.

One good thing that has happened, is that I have a girlfriend. An amazing one at that. I'm happy with her. :) She has nothing to do with the title btw. Lmfao.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


Mother has been bitchin ever since she's got here. Non stop. She's gonna be here all week too, since my grandparents are going to be going on vaca. I hope this week goes by fast. And I hope she has to stay in Valdosta forever. I pray she doesn't find a job up here either.

Ohh yea... I won't be getting my eyebrow pierced. Mother's a liar and ruins everything.

OHH YEAAA! I'll be stuck in fuckin Georgia for college too. I'm being forced to get a job after school and the weekends so goodbye social life. And that means no clubs or sports to help me look good for colleges. My grades and tests alone won't get me into any good ones... So HELLO community college!


Thursday, June 3, 2010


My job is getting worse by the day. I applied for Six Flags today, so hopefully I'll be getting an interview set up for that one. My name was put on the yearbook list for next year. So that's good.

But the main thing that has been bothering me is this girl... I don't talk about it a lot with anyone. But... she's my everything. I want to be with her forever, she really is perfect for me.

However, this is Blaze's life we're talking about. And Blaze is never allowed to be happy.

There is sooo many things wrong with me. My personality, my body, my face, my mind, my sanity, my humor, my intelligence. I can go on until humanity dies. But I found this one girl, who takes me all in. And we can't even be together without looking behind our backs every two seconds. We always have to hide.

I'm trying to figure out what I did that was so fucking wrong, so God can stop punishing me. Whatever I did God, I'm sorry. I am so sorry God. I didn't mean to make you mad at me. I repent.