Thursday, June 3, 2010


My job is getting worse by the day. I applied for Six Flags today, so hopefully I'll be getting an interview set up for that one. My name was put on the yearbook list for next year. So that's good.

But the main thing that has been bothering me is this girl... I don't talk about it a lot with anyone. But... she's my everything. I want to be with her forever, she really is perfect for me.

However, this is Blaze's life we're talking about. And Blaze is never allowed to be happy.

There is sooo many things wrong with me. My personality, my body, my face, my mind, my sanity, my humor, my intelligence. I can go on until humanity dies. But I found this one girl, who takes me all in. And we can't even be together without looking behind our backs every two seconds. We always have to hide.

I'm trying to figure out what I did that was so fucking wrong, so God can stop punishing me. Whatever I did God, I'm sorry. I am so sorry God. I didn't mean to make you mad at me. I repent.

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